A Good Smoke

I need nicotine in my bloodstream to function throughout the day,

So I light up in the morning and I know that you may say

That smoking is bad for my health and one day I’ll die,

But I’m dying for a fag so hear this in reply:

I don’t want to see those pictures on packets

I don’t want to hear your incessant racket

I don’t want to see your disapproving stare

Preach all you like, I really don’t care.

The adverts I see tend to make me laugh,

I chuckle hours later while I smoke in the bath

At the metaphor of an impotent man (you know the one)

It doesn’t do it for me, so don’t spoil my fun.

I’ll cough and splutter and happily inhale,

My scent will be tobacco smoke, slightly stale,

I know you have your vice as everyone does,

The one thing you like that gives you a buzz,

I don’t tell you alcohol will ruin your liver,

There is no stupid sermon I try to deliver,

To get you to relinquish something you love,

So I’ll push you away with a stiff armed shove.

I’ll continue to smoke while I earn my own crust,

Without my taxes the government would go bust

So unless you want a rise in income tax

Shut up and leave me to smoke and relax.

I apologise if this seems like some kind of rant or rave,
You have done my head in but now I promise to behave.
Just leave me be with my own dirty habit
I'll go smoke outside, this clean air, you can have it.