Wednesday 21 September 2011

Existential Thought No. 1

If home is where you lay your hat,
Then Heaven is where you lay your heart,
Where Angels flock about your head
To kiss your face
And with tears of joy, depart.

Map of Life

I think about the decisions that brought me here,
Like a map in my mind my journey is clear,
Every twist every turn - the path I have travelled
Is a tangle of twine that has now come unravelled
And I pick up a thread like Theseus did,
To go back through the Labyrinth of life I have lived.
I’ve faced the beast and I’ve come through unscathed,
Become a hero and all has been saved.
I returned to applause and mass adoration
And never again will I meet expectation,
The bar I have set – I set it too high,
I’ll not reach it again though I’m sure I’ll get by.
I’ll learn to adjust as the new generation
Maps out a course to their new destination.
And if they need it I’ll be here as their guide
My new mission starts, it’s to stay by their side.

Tuesday 20 September 2011

I'm-Mortal

If I were to die then what would I leave,
Family and friends to mourn and to grieve,
A wife to cry upon my empty pillow,
A fatherless child, not a wife, but a widow.

I’m sure I would leave a small hole in their lives,
Like gin without tonic and cheese without chives,
A missing piece of their favourite puzzle,
A big empty bed with nobody to cuddle.

The memory of my crooked toothed smile,
A mosaic of pearly white chipped and cracked tile,
The light in my eyes extinguished forever,
And the way that our hands fit perfectly together.

When something goes wrong and I’m not there to blame,
You’ll find someone else but it won’t be the same,
But you’ll remember me fondly and sometimes you’ll chortle,
And in those brief moments you make me immortal.

Friday 16 September 2011

Volcano

I’m seething.
I’m boiling.
I’m a dormant volcano. I wait.

With a molten core I spit
and consume that which will make me boil over.
A belly full of rage awaits
that brave soul who challenges my peaks.

Their tears hiss when hitting my fire,
Fueling my ire, feeding my desire
to devour them whole.

But for now I slumber fitfully,
A nightmare of red heat.
And when I awake, with sweaty palms,
I’ll destroy them like a scythe through wheat.

Wednesday 14 September 2011

Inconsequential

I think inconsequential thoughts of no import.
When you speak I try a witty retort.
But my heart isn’t in it,
My head isn’t right,
Scarred from nightmares I screamed through the middle of the night.

I think insignificant feelings towards you,
Though I try my best to make them feel true.
They feel somewhat forced,
Heart and brain are divided,
I’m one dysfunctional organism with parts left unguided.

You cast these irrelevant judgements upon me,
I weighed myself, found wanting, and somewhat agree.
A chasm exists,
Where once was my heart,
And I struggle to remember how it looked at the start.

I have unimportant opinions about us,
Things that I don’t see the need to discuss.
I switch off inside,
Become a machine,
Wait to be dismantled and slowly stripped clean.

Tuesday 13 September 2011

Ghost of the Past

I saw a ghost today,
A spectre from my past,
The one that got away,
A die that’s long been cast.

A modern Aphrodite,
With ethereal grace,
I once dreamt of her nightly,
Her pretty porcelain face

That defies the sands of time,
And stays forever youthful,
A woman in her prime,
My eyes cannot be truthful.

I smile and she walks on,
Without a second look,
Here one minute then she’s gone,
Like a page turned in a book

Or a leaf blown in the breeze,
That once fell from a tree,
A fugitive that flees
To once again feel free.

An inconsequential act,
In this pointless play that’s life,
Exit Left with pride intact,
I go home to see my wife.

And I spare her no more thoughts,
I forget about that ghost-
That big fish that I once caught,
The one I used to want the most.

Monday 12 September 2011

People are Inherrantly Cruel

People are inherently cruel, you fool!
They learn it throughout childhood, in school.
They make fun of kids in glasses- four eyes
And the little chubby kid- who ate all the pies?
They ridicule the teacher with the mushroom shaped nose,
Laugh when, with handkerchief in hand, he blows.
And then there’s the teacher who spits when he speaks,
Halitosis and coffee, his breath really reeks.
The poor kid sticks out with his Reeback shoes,
The girls turn their noses up in their Jimmy Choos.
And the smelly greasy kid, ‘He deserves it.’
You know nothing about him you posh snotty shit.
And the funny thing about all of this?
They’re laughing behind your back and taking the piss.
Calling you stuck up and an arrogant Toff,
And I won’t even mention what’s said of the Goth.
This illustrates my point that cruelty resides
In the hearts of the people, where it thrives.
But that’s ok, you must be cruel to be kind,
It isn’t your fault it’s the way we’re designed.

Friday 9 September 2011

Goddess

Prostrate at her feet I lie,
My Goddess.
In subjugation I worship her
And confess.
Make sacrifices daily
To please,
Upon cold, hard floors
On my knees,

I wait for her blessing,
The order to stand,
For her glowing light,
To envelop my hand
And access to her temple,
If she should so grant.
A monotone from my mouth,
Whispered in a chant.
My faith is steadfast,
Never does it falter.
I receive her communion,
Standing still at her altar.
Her word is law,not to be broken,
Whether it be written or spoken.

Yet the sins I have sinned,
She forgives
And my broken spirit,
In her it lives.
My faith grows stronger,
Reaffirmed,
Her faith in me?
Unconfirmed.

Thursday 8 September 2011

The Mindset of Marriage

A ring on the finger, it makes all the difference,
It feels just the same, which doesn't make sense,
I love her no more, I love her no less,
But she looked like a princess in that pretty white dress.
The stress is now over, that one special day
Disappeared like soap bubbles, floating softly away.
She's changed her last name, she's now Mrs Brooks,
But when I do wrong I still get dirty looks.
See nothing has changed, well, in that respect,
Not on the surface, anyway, that I can detect,
But I play with the band that encircles my finger,
And when I catch myself there's a smile seems to linger.
So was it all worth it? Well I show it with pride,
That gold circle on my finger, placed there by my bride

Monday 5 September 2011

A Good Smoke

I need nicotine in my bloodstream to function throughout the day,
So I light up in the morning and I know that you may say
That smoking is bad for my health and one day I’ll die,
But I’m dying for a fag so hear this in reply:

I don’t want to see those pictures on packets
I don’t want to hear your incessant racket
I don’t want to see your disapproving stare
Preach all you like, I really don’t care.
The adverts I see tend to make me laugh,
I chuckle hours later while I smoke in the bath
At the metaphor of an impotent man (you know the one)
It doesn’t do it for me, so don’t spoil my fun.
I’ll cough and splutter and happily inhale,
My scent will be tobacco smoke, slightly stale,
I know you have your vice as everyone does,
The one thing you like that gives you a buzz,
I don’t tell you alcohol will ruin your liver,
There is no stupid sermon I try to deliver,
To get you to relinquish something you love,
So I’ll push you away with a stiff armed shove.
I’ll continue to smoke while I earn my own crust,
Without my taxes the government would go bust
So unless you want a rise in income tax
Shut up and leave me to smoke and relax.

I apologise if this seems like some kind of rant or rave,
You have done my head in but now I promise to behave.
Just leave me be with my own dirty habit
I'll go smoke outside, this clean air, you can have it.